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  • Control Your Emotions

    Q: Sometimes during kirtan I start crying. And it’s not tears of joy at all, it’s something more like pain and at that moment I cannot stop it.  I don't know what it is, I think that perhaps some negative emotions from the past. I have to go to another room to cry out and then return to kirtan. Before I had such tears only sometimes when was singing bhajans for Lord Nrisimha Dev and I was not thinking about it because was singing to Him only once a year on the Day of His appearance. But now it happens also sometimes during kirtans. I want to ask you why this happens and what can I do to stop it, because I'm not sure it is ok? 

    Devotion or emotion? – “Crying for Krishna.” – Saraswati Thakur suppresses his ecstatic emotions not to mislead neophytes. – Stanislavski method or “Acting as a way of salvation”. – Imitative devotion. – Revolutionary statements of Saraswati Thakur. – We should repeatedly acknowledge our limitations. – Raga-bhakti. – How to adjust yourself to understand the truth? -  Mahaprabhu’s ecstatic trans. – Bhaktivinod Thakur and Saraswati Thakur are not practitioners. – Bhajan – direct service to the upper world. – Gaurakishor Das Babaji Maharaj and attempts to imitate him. – Causeless and irresistible. – The sentimental by nature. -  Get your emotions under control – then resume. – Dr. Mukuda and Haridas faint due to their devotional feelings. – Service to Srimati Radharani is the target of the great devotees. – Krishna-prem doesn’t exist in this world. – Siksastakam: the glories of the holy names. – Mahaprabhu says, He doesn’t have Krishna-prem. – Associate with those who appreciate and serve them.

    Chiang Mai 2019 - Control Your Emotions

    Author: Bhakti Sudhir Goswami Cycle: Chiang Mai 2019 Uploaded by: Priyanana Created at: 29 May, 2019
    Duration: 01:06:25 Date: 2019-05-27 Place: Gupta Govardhan Chiang Mai Downloaded: 2861 Played: 4570
    Transcribed by: Enakshi Devi Dasi, Radha Raman Prabhu

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    Goswāmī Mahārāj:
    Om ajñāna-timirāndhasya
    cakṣur unmīlitaṁ yena
    tasmai śrī-gurave namaḥ

    mūkaṁ karoti vācālaṁpaṅguṁ
    laṅghayate girim yat-kṛpā tam
    ahaṁ vande śrī-guruṁ dīna-tāraṇam

    (Śrī Chaitanya-charitāmṛta: Madhya, 17.80)
    vande nanda-vraja-strīṇāṁ
    pāda-reṇum abhīkṣṇaśaḥ
    yāsāṁ hari-kathodgītaṁ
    punāti bhuvana-trayam

    (Śrīmad Bhāgavatam: 10.47.63)
    vande ’haṁ śrī-guroḥ śrī-yuta-pada-kamalaṁ
    śrī-gurūn vaiṣṇavāṁś ca śrī-rūpaṁ sāgrajātaṁ
    saha-gaṇa-raghunāthānvitaṁ taṁ sa-jīvam
    sādvaitaṁ sāvadhūtaṁ parijana-sahitaṁ
    kṛṣṇa-caitanya-devaṁ śrī-rādhā-kṛṣṇa-pādān
    saha-gaṇa-lalitā-śrī-viśākhānvitāṁś ca

    (Śrī Chaitanya-charitāmṛta: Antya, 2.1)
    tasmai maha-prema rasa-pradaya
    caitanya-candraya namo namaste

    (Caitanya-candramrtam: 11)
    Hare Kṛṣṇa. Some question?
    Devotee: Daṇḍavat Mahārāj. We have question from Vraja-sundari Didi, Israel, “Hare Kṛṣṇa, please accept...” [interrupted]
    Goswāmī Mahārāj: Hare Kṛṣṇa! Good start...[chuckle] Hare Kṛṣṇa.
    Devotee: [continue] “Please accept my humble obeisances. Sometimes during kīrtan I start crying. And it's not tears of joy at all, it's something more like a pain, and at that moment I cannot stop it. I don't know what it is. I think that I have some negative emotions from the past. I have to go to another room to cry out and then return to kīrtan. Before, I had such tears only sometimes, when I was singing bājan for Lord Nārasiṁhadev, and I was not thinking about it, because I was singing to Him only once a year, on the day of His Appearance. But now, it happens also sometimes during kīrtans. So, I want to ask you, why this happens, and what can I do to stop it, because I'm not sure it is OK? Thank you. Daṇḍavats.”
    Emotion's—best's to suppress. Devotional emotion is a very high level of expression.
    Goswāmī Mahārāj: Best's to suppress. I think Vaiṣṇava Mahārāj-Śruta Srāva Prabhu published the talk of Gurudev... What was the title? Emotion—not Devotion; inverse: Devotion—not Emotion. And, Rūpa Goswāmī Prabhu has warned us, cautioned us in principle with conflating whatever we're experiencing on emotional level, with genuine expression of Kṛṣṇa-conscious emotion. When Gurudev say, “Emotion's not devotion.” He's not saying theres not emotion in Kṛṣṇa-conscious, but is that... Is it devotional emotion..? Which is very high level of expression, when it is the outcome of genuine sentiments. As you'll find this with Prabhupāda, when he'll say, you know, “Kṛṣṇa-conscious is realized, ultimately, in crying for Kṛṣṇa.” But, that is a very high thing. We hear from Śrīla Guru Mahārāj, how, with regard to his Gurudev, Prabhupāda-Śrīla Saraswatī Ṭhākur, we will notice that he's the perfect picture of gravity. As you see there, consistently, almost without exception in every picture, you know—the personification of gravitas.
    vidvadbhiḥ sevitaḥ sadbhir nityam adveṣarāgibhiḥ... (Mn: 2.1); So, throughly acquainted with the scriptures, free from mundane tendencies, and... But, still, heart
    ...hṛdayenābhyanujñāto yo dharmas taṃ nibodhata (Mn: 2.1). And he, as we're told by Śrīla Guru Mahārāj, at different times, some ecstasy is coming to him. And, he is meticulously suppressing any emotional display. Particularly, to not mislead neophytes. Because then every... The door will be open, and everyone will want to imitate that. Still... So, Śrīla Guru Mahārāj said, “That's the way he is.” And, there's observations by his disciples. Once, when going trough their printing press, and observing just some proofs, pro-preps Caitanya-bhāgavata, or one of the books they are publishing. One of the substantial devotees observed variety of ecstatic symptoms upon his divine form. But he was suppressing any tears, not to mislead or give credence to imitation-ism, right.
    Acting: an artificial imposition on the mind. Avoid imitative devotion.
    Prabhupāda said, Śrīla Rūpa Goswāmī Prabhu, his caution was that... He said, “Two things we are to be aware of; one is acting...” Just, like in... The American acting tradition, actually, pays homage to the Russian acting guru, Stanislavsky—and what is commonly referred to as—The Method. In his theory promise is, that if you imitate that character, their gestures, their dress, everything about them that can be known, and you'll immerse yourself into that imitation wholesale... And, that's why so many actors do so much research. And, some of them, they sty in character, even if they're not filming. He said, “If you do this successfully, you'll achieve the stage, where you've become that character.” Your own identity is suppressed or forgotten—like self-oblivion—and you've become that character. That's his idea. But, what should be observed... Because someone wrote the doctoral thesis on this, like, “Acting is a way of salvation.”
    Observe... Who, perhaps, inadvertently observed this of the, so-called Bābājīs of Rādhā-kuṇḍa. But he thought, “Oh...” Two things... One, “It's obvious; they're acting.” But not knowing what substantial devotion is, and the sequence outlined by Rūpa Goswāmī, they thought, “Oh, so, that's the way!” They're showing that 'that's the way' through acting. So, he identify the two things. One is, that they're acting. But, the other's—what's implied, but not stated—is that you're still that particular person. Your former identity has not dissolved, or vanished, but... It's what Prabhupāda, Śrīla Prabhupāda Swāmī Mahārāj will call, “An artificial imposition on the mind.” So, there's no real substance there. It's an act. It's 'imitative devotion'. And Rūpa Goswāmī goes into details about that in his works, also. You know: shadow, reflection... There's some distinction there, some relative merit, but not the substantial thing. So, he's warning us, or cautioning us in viewing others, that we might be deceived into thinking that someone is a substantial devotee, but in fact their acting.
    Śrīla Rūpa Goswāmī: substance over imitation, shadow, reflection.
    Just as when Śrīla Bhakti Siddhānta Saraswatī Ṭhākur was on the vraja-mandala-parikramā in Vṛndāvan. And, we generally think, “Oh, Vṛndāvan! That's the land of Kṛṣṇa. Everyone there is a devotee of Kṛṣṇa.” The peacocks are devotees, the monkeys, the birds, the bees, the trees. Everything. River Yamunā... Everything... All the inhabitants, they must be devotees. So, they completed the vraja-mandala-parikramā, as Madhusūdan Mahārāj done. Not the shortcut... [laughing] Paramānanda Prabhu may know how... What's the total..? It's substantial. I forget how many miles or kilometers, the total vraja-mandala-parikramā, but... [interrupted]
    Devotee: It's the vraja-mandala...
    Goswāmī Mahārāj: Hah?
    Devotee: It's the vraja-mandala.
    Goswāmī Mahārāj: Yes! So... That's Madhusūdan Mahārāj's program. [laughing] And upon completing... That means, visiting... Because, generally I like to go on an ontological... What I call, an ontological parikramā. We're going: Rādhā-Dāmodara, Rādhā-Madan-mohan; the Goswāmīs in the particular order, that make sense to me, ontologically. And, factoring in, we can't go to every place. But they've just been to... Not every place... But what we would, you know, not... I mean, a vraja-mandala-parikramā, right, that means, more or less circulating the whole of Vṛṇdavan. And much to their surprise, although they've met so many along the way, Mahārāj said, “Saraswatī Ṭhākur...” What do we call this? [clapping his face] A face-palm? Palm to his face... He said, “Oh, I'm so unfortunate...” And, we think, “Oh, wait! That suppose to be the great fortune for all devotees to be able to go to Vṛndāvan, to the vraja-mandala-parikramā.
    At the end, shouldn't we be celebrating our good fortune? We've completed the vraja-mandala-parikramā!”
    Śrīla Saraswatī Ṭhākur after visiting Vṛṇdavan, “I couldn't find a single Vaiṣṇava.”
    And, he said, “Oh! I'm so unfortunate!“ What? He said, “I just completed the whole of the vraja-mandala-parikramā, and I couldn't find a single Vaiṣṇava. Oh! My misfortune!” So, as Śrīla Guru Mahārāj said, “Śrīla Saraswatī Ṭhākur's statements were mostly revolutionary.” It's interesting, he didn't mean that there's a few times he said something revolutionary. And, what is 'revolutionary' means? Even the very word 'revolutionary'... What does it mean? Complete circle. Just like that parikramā.
    A complete—or what we call, the hundred eighty—a complete reversal of understanding and concept. And, actually, Kṛṣṇa-consciousness demands that you re-conceive, regularly, if not daily. Why? Because, He's Kṛṣṇa; He's living a life, growing. He's not 'the same old Infinite'—when go to see again—something's new. He's described as nava-yauvana: ever-new, eternal-fresh, that... What Guru Mahārāj said in that verse..? What it's say..? I forget the Sanskrit...
    Vaikuṇṭha means: the unlimited world. Don't try to measure it.
    In the Gītā, where He's saying, “I'm everywhere, and everything; I'm nowhere, and I'm nothing.” When Guru Mahārāj use to say... He said, “I'm everywhere, and everything; I'm nowhere, and nothing; I'm not a mad man!” And that's Kṛṣṇa speaking. [laughing] He's saying, Arjuna... ekāṁśena sthito jagat (Bg: 10.42). Similar theme section over his head, “Whatever you conceive of the Infinite, whatever blows your mind in trying, and whatever you might think of representation of the Infinite, or what's utterly perplexing...” He's saying, “That's nothing to Me.” “It's an atom of Infinite, to that Infinite, who sleeps on the bed of Infinite” Guru Mahārāj reminds us, right.
    So, that Kṛṣṇa, by His own existence demands re-conceptualization; that we repeatedly acknowledge our limitations. And, we're dealing with Vaikuṇṭha. Vaikuṇṭha means: the unlimited world. So, repeatedly, demands that we re-conceive, right.
    As Brahmā, four-headed Brahmā had to admit, jñāne prayāsam udapāsya namanta eva...(SB: 10.14.3); “Don't try to measure Him with your mind and intellect” right. Then, what we're left with, ...sthāne sthitāḥ śruti-gatāṁ tanu-vāṅ-manobhir... (SB: 10.14.3); hear from His devotees about Him. It's interesting, in the Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu, and were studying this early on. And, I was trying to make sure that I was understanding it properly. And, I would noticed, that I can fallow everything sequentially up to a point, until it came to rāga-bhakti and Prabhupāda's summary, I'm mainly referring to in the Nectar Of Devotione. He says at one point... When he gets to this one chapter, he says, “Here, this cannot be described...” How shall we say, you know... “Step-by-step way” he said. So, Rūpa Goswāmī says, “I'm just going to give you examples of rāga-mārga devotees, and what they've expressed under particular circumstances, or situation, and then you'll get... Some impression will come to you from that.” You'll hear the expressions of these devotees.
    Some impression will come to you from genuine devotees of Kṛṣṇa.
    And then some impression will come to your heart about it. This is not an intellectual, step-by-step analyses.So, what we have? ...sthāne sthitāḥ śruti gatāṁ... (SB: 10.14.3); “Just hear from genuine devotees about Kṛṣṇa, and some impression will come to your heart.” That 'impression' we call: Kṛṣṇa-consciousness. When Saraswatī Ṭhākur would say these things, or this particular thing, this perplexed his disciples. They had full faith in him, “But now, our Guru Mahārāj, our Gurudev—he's saying something that is perplexing, bewildering, confusing—we can't...” And Gurudev would say, “Digest this..?” So, he said, “I couldn't find a single Vaiṣṇava.” So, they offered up the name of the person, who was, allegedly—or, you know, repeatedly—the top Vaiṣṇava of the day; this particular bābājī. We'll just say, his name was Rāmdās Bābājī. And, they've mentioned, “Well, what about..? Everyone in Vṛndāvan thinks he's siddha-mahātmā, like the highest type of liberated soul; not a practitioner. What about him?”
    Saraswatī Ṭhākur on so-called siddha-mahātmā, “An infant-class Vaiṣṇava.”
    And Saraswatī Ṭhākur said, “Him? He is a...” Guru Mahārāj said, “An infant-class Vaiṣṇava.” That's how he put it. Because he could say: third, second class... Guru Mahārāj's words, “An infant-class Vaiṣṇava.” An infant! This perplexed them even more. So, whom everyone reveres to be the highest, “He's an infant-class Vaiṣṇava.” And, Guru Mahārāj's always honest; honesty is required. Being candid, honest, everyone will make progress. If we want to deceive ourselves, then no one can help us. No one can help self-deceiver. So, Guru Mahārāj's just honest. He's saying, this was just difficult for him to accept, but, “He knows! If Saraswatī Ṭhākur saying this, it's true. It must be true!” So, how shell I adjust myself to understand the truth of what mu Gurudev's saying. So, Guru Mahārāj had the opportunity to stop off in Vṛṇdavan, little bit later after that. And that Rāmdās Bābājī that Guru Mahārāj talked—he'll go observe him, and what he observes is—is like a show.
    It's a show time!
    He's there, he's foaming at the mouth, his body is shivering. Then, there's one devotee on this side, another on the other side; one like, wipes this way, the other one, wipes that way... [some gestures] They say, “He can't go to Bhāgavat class.” Why?
    “If he hears the name of Kṛṣṇa, he'll go into ecstatic trance, or exhibit ecstatic symptoms, and he'll be devastated.” And these things are going on. Guru Mahārāj said, “I'm observing him, and then, in my mind's eye, I see my Guru Mahārāj sync in, 'An infant-class Vaiṣṇava!' And then, i'm observing that man... 'An infant-class Vaiṣṇava!' Then, I saw after this so-called 'ecstatic performances', within the matter of minutes, he'll transitioned to very ordinary dealings, an awareness and concern; trivial things.” Transitioned... What's in literature someone called: bathos, means... It's a literary fault, where you're dealing with something very, very high, and then so low, as to soil the high thing, that was discussed, right.
    Divine trance—internal, half-internal, half-external, external—gradual transition.
    So, in the Chaitanya-bhāgavat, Caritāmṛtam, and elsewhere, we hear for example: case of Mahāprabhu, Puṇḍarīk Vidyānidhi-Premanidhi comes to mind... But, Mahāprabhu, OK. When Mahāprabhu enters an ecstatic trance, He becomes fainted to this world. And, we're remind, that means... Doesn't mean just a fainted person laying unconscious, but so much lost in the upper world, as to be unable to sustain external awareness. That's what we're speaking of. Three stages Kavirāj Goswāmī describes: internal, half-internal, half-external, external; that's how he transitions, gradually. These trances last on average, for nine hours. So, for nine hours He appears to be death, right. That's why, when Sārvabhauma Bhaṭṭācārya was examining Him in front of Jagannāth, he would put the cotton swab... The guards are ready to throw Him out, drag Him out of the Temple, throw Him in the gutter.
    Intoxicating nectar of kṛṣṇa-kathā brings Mahāprabhu back to external world.
    Sārvabhauma Bhaṭṭācārya puts the cotton swabs and see... And, it takes... Seeing the fibers move a little bit, and he realize, He's still breathing. So, it's death-like trance. As Guru Mahārāj writes in the Gadādhara-praṇam's: nīlāmbhodhi-taṭe sadā sva-virahā-kṣepanvitaṁ bāndhavaṁ śrīmad-bhāgavatī kathā madirayā sañjīvayan bhāti yaḥ (B.R. Śrīdhar Mahārāj, Affectionate Guidance); sañjīva, is bringing Him back to life. He's on the verge of death, and bringing Him back from that, with the intoxicating nectar of kṛṣṇa-kathā. So, nine hours like that. That's why the devotees are crying; they're so worried, they think that He's... Either left the world, or on the verge of leaving the world. So, nine hours... It mean, so substantial and gradual transition back from that plane, into this plane. And, this person Guru Mahārāj's observing is showing something for few minutes, and then, quickly transitioning back to the mundane; the trivial.
    Bhaktivinod Ṭhākur and Śrīla Saraswatī Ṭhākur, they're not spiritual practitioners.
    So, that was one thing he noted and observed, personally. And, then he thought about Śrīla Bhakti Siddhānta Saraswatī Ṭhākur, Śrīla Bhakti Bhaktivinod Ṭhākur, and he came to this conclusion, he said, “What I've realized is, that Bhakti Bhaktivinod Ṭhākur, and our Guru Mahārāj, they're...” This man is a practitioner. By his practices, however imitative they may be, he's trying to elevate himself toward that domain. But that domain that he's trying to elevate himself toward, by his spiritual practices and sad-ācāra, etc, that is the domain from which Bhaktivinod Ṭhākur and Śrīla Saraswatī Ṭhākur have descended into this world. They're not practitioners of Kṛṣṇa-consciousness. It's not that they're chanting a fixed number of rounds every day, and following certain rules, regulations, principles, in hopes of elevating themselves toward that plane. But rather, they descended from that plane, to distribute something in this world.
    Cinmaya threads of hari-kathā form a tent in which Kṛṣṇa likes to dwell.
    As Guru Mahārāj wrote in his divine poetry, ...guṇa-mañjarī...[trying to recall] ...kamala-priya-nayanam guṇa-mañjarī-garimā-guṇa-hari-vāsana-vayanam... (SKM, p.33-4). He describes the kuñja; kānana... vraja-kānana... In the spiritual world, which is presided over by Kamala-mañjarī-Śrīla Bhaktivinod Ṭhākur, and there's Guṇa-mañjarī-Gaura Kiśor Dās Bābājī Mahārāj, Nayana-maṇi-mañjarī-Śrīla Bhakti Siddhānta Saraswatī Ṭhākur, who's singing the glories of Guṇa-mañjarī,...guṇa-mañjarī-garimā-guṇa-hari-vāsana-vayanam... (SKM, p.33-4). And, by singing the ¬guṇas of Guṇa, the qualities of Guṇa-mañjarī... Guṇa also means thread. He's singing these... What's created by that, is cinmaya threads, spiritually conscious threads of hari-kathā, that form a tent, in which Kṛṣṇa likes to dwell. That's the realm that they live in. They've descended from that plane into this world to distribute something. So, Śrīla Guru Mahārāj also reminds us: the bājan of the Goswāmīs is not a... How do you say..?
    Highest Devotees, they're not practitioners; their bājan is a direct service.
    They're not practitioners. Their bājan is a direct service. It's not that they're engaged in just certain spiritual practices for elevation. It's direct service, in the Upper World. So, that Guru Mahārāj observed, and then understood why Śrīla... From the... When Śrīla Saraswatī Ṭhākur said, “I couldn't find... I'm so unfortunate, I couldn't find the single Vaiṣṇava.” What he's talking about is a quality, a particular quality of Vaiṣṇava. What is that quality? From that domain. Those who descend from that world, they're not going to be impressed with any level of practicing in this plane, right; or imitation. We know, also, speaking of Gaura Kiśor Dās Bābājī Mahārāj. We hear many astonishing things about him. And, we also hear, there are those who observed him, and wonted to imitate his behavior. So, one man sometimes could hear from Bābājī Mahārāj's kuṭīra, which was sometimes in a up-turned boat, or as we know, different places he hears... And is hearing some divine emotion, ecstatic expression coming from there.
    When so-called 'devotion's on display—not a pretty picture.
    And then, observing his practices and everything... So, then we hear this man, he decided to build the bājan kuṭīra on the banks of the Gaṅgā, and then, entered there. And he's taking kṛṣṇa-nāma—one lakh, two lakhs—he's taking this kṛṣṇa-nāma, and then, sometimes you can hear... People hear, he's wailing and crying, and tears are pouring from his eyes and so many things. And, of course the people are impressed. And, that man is impressed for themself. I remember, when I hear this one tape, it still bothers me to this day. Guru Mahārāj will be lecturing, just think about this for the moment... Oṁ Viṣṇupada Śrīla Bhakti Rakṣak Śrīdhar Dev-Goswāmī; as Bon Mahārāj said... The other one was Rāmānanda... “The greatest speech given of all time!” He's speaking, and there's this one so-called devotee, who's downstairs, pacing back and forth, chanting his rounds. And, if you listen to the tape, you... And loudly. So, while Guru Mahārāj is speaking, you know, you hear this person doing this.
    And Guru Mahārāj kept on speaking, and... But then, I don't know who it was who brought it to his attention. You know, they say, “What about so-and-so Prabhu?” You know... [chuckle] It was hard to ignore. And Guru Mahārāj, he's... [laughing] He's so innocent. “He is full in himself.” [laughing] But, it's... In modern English we would say, “He's full of himself.” But he says, “He is full in himself.” Like, he doesn't need the, you know... But, that he can say that, again, that's an example of his sense of humor, the irony of it all. But how, at the same time, he's telling you, but not criticizing ostensibly,“He is full in himself.” [chuckle] So, that man who is wailing, inside chanting, all... You know, get… Got to get that lakh done, or that second lakh, going for three, right... The hat trick of lakhs. They... People come to Bābājī Mahārāj, and say, “ Bābājī Mahārāj, what you have to say about that gentleman?” And Guru Mahārāj said, Bābājī Mahārāj's response was, “If a lady enters the labor room...“
    We don't want something cheap or artificial.
    That means, where women give birth to babies, “...And starts mourning and groaning, and crying out, and making, and contorting, and...” He said, “Does she produce a child?” And, in Guru Mahārāj's words, he said, “Many other events must have taken place, before that.” So, just entering that room and feigning childbirth, does not a child-produce. So, these are serious things, the most serious thing. We don't want something cheap or artificial. And this is so particular to devotees; we're extra cautious about these things, …ahaituky apratihatā... (SB: 1.2.6). Guru said... You know, Prabhupāda would say like, “Causeless and uninterrupted.” And, that's correct, but Guru Mahārāj, he's always extracting some new, like... He said, “Causeless and irresistible.” This word 'irresistible' is key, because the opposite is 'resistible'. So, the first line of defense, so to speak, for sincere devotees, whose aspiration is genuine, if something comes to them, they're resisting that ; they're trying to suppress that.
    Recognizing tendency for kāma, kāmini, pratiṣṭhā, and keeping guard against it.
    And, if it's suppressible, resistible, then they're thinking... Because, their thinking is, “Why someone as unqualified as myself—Kṛṣṇa's giving everything, I've given nothing, anything—should be the receptacle of such wonderful thing.” They resist, resisting that, thinking, “My imagination, my tendency toward name and fame, kāma, kāmini, pratiṣṭhā, self-assertion. Is it something divine descending here, or an imposition? As Prabhupāda said, “An artificial imposition on the mind.” So, they're resisting. If's irresistible, then it might be genuine, might be devotion. So, that's one side.
    Imitation, acting. On the other side, Rūpa Goswāmī says, “There are those who are sentimental by nature, who cry easily, right. Some of our devotees say of themselves, like, “Oh, you know, I'm from family of criers.” Or, something like... Śrīlekhā would tell
    you, “We're family of criers. I come from the criers, long line of a family of criers.”
    Difference between emotion and substance, in pursued of Kṛṣṇa-consciousness.
    She's aware of that. So, we realize, and we see in the modern world, in advertising, they're so expert at manipulating emotions. In thirty seconds, a thirty-second commercial can touch your heart and bring tears to your eyes; they're so expert. And God knows what they're selling, right. But, within thirty seconds, they're so expert at story telling, and how we say it, you know..? Pulling emotions. They can achieve that at... In thirty seconds you have tears in your eyes, and it's for the most base, mundane product, right. So, there's being manipulated, but also what's our personal tendency. So, succinctly, you should not conflate emotions that come to us in our life circumstance in the pursued of Kṛṣṇa-consciousness, with the substance of Kṛṣṇa-consciousness. So, and particularly crying in kīrtan, or in the devotional service, at it's best is to leave that situation, get your emotions under control, and then resume.
    Story of Mukunda, peacock fan, and sweet pastime of Peacocks devotion to Kṛṣṇa.
    Because, this is unacceptable in the society of pure devotees, or pursuing pure devotion. We know, also in the Caitanya-bhāgavat there's a section where Haridāsa Ṭhākur—just like Mukunda in Caritāmṛtam—he's a doctor, vaidya by profession, giving medical advise to the, I guess, governor, you could say, governor-king. And, they've appropriated divine paraphernalia. Which means, like they've used the peacock fan; their attendants, all the divine paraphernalia of Vaiṣṇava, they've appropriated. So, Mukunda is giving medical advise to the King, and they're like on the balcony or veranda situation. And, one of the King's attendants is shading him with a peacock fan; sometimes fanning, shading. And, while Mukunda's speaking, he sees the peacock feathers, and then that awakens intense divine remembrance of Kṛṣṇa, like,
    barhāpīḍaṁ naṭa-vara-vapuḥ karṇayoḥ karṇikāraṁ
    bibhrad vāsaḥ kanaka-kapiśaṁ vaijayantīṁ ca mālām
    randhrān veṇor adhara-sudhayāpūrayan gopa-vṛndair
    vṛndāraṇyaṁ sva-pada-ramaṇaṁ prāviśad gīta-kīrtiḥ
    (Śrīmad Bhāgavatam: 10.21.5)
    Barhāpīḍaṁ that means Kṛṣṇa, He's always wearing the peacock feather. As we hear, in Vṛndāvan, they all... Everyone in Vṛndāvan's exalted being. So, the peacocks were also exalted souls; exalted, liberated souls. Super exalted liberated souls. And, they see, there's Kṛṣṇa before them, and, sometimes they request that Kṛṣṇa will play His flute, and they will dance, right. So, imagine how beautiful's that. Kṛṣṇa's playing His flute and the peacocks are dancing to the flute-song of Kṛṣṇa. And, when they finished, the peacocks are so happy, they want to offer something to Kṛṣṇa. So, they bent their heads forward and Kṛṣṇa's like... [sound] puphhh—plucks the peacock feather from peacock... [sound] tuckkk—puts it in there... Then how... They're like fainted at that point. [laughing] Fainted peacock. The other once, like...[sound] phoo, phoo... [blowing air] you know... [laughing] So, He's always wearing the peacock feather. That's His marker. So this verse... It's interesting, it appears to be about Kṛṣṇa, Balarāma and the cowherd boys, and it is, right.
    Gopīs, “I wish I was a cowherd boy! I'll go and play with Kṛṣṇa in the daytime.”
    How beautiful Kṛṣṇa looks with His peacock feather. And, with Balarāma and the cowherd boys, they're singing and dancing in the morning, and moving in the group. But what we should notice, this verse is from the point of view of the vraja-gopīs. This is what they see. And it's sometimes... It's happy to the extreme, but also, they see, they're going into the Vṛndāvan forest, living in the morning, and then, there's some pain in the heart of the ensuing separation, so-much-so, that we hear, sometimes the gopīs say to each other like, “I wish I was a cowherd boy!” “Why?” “Well, then we can go and play with Kṛṣṇa in the daytime.” [laughing] “But in the daytime we can't go; He's there with the cowherd boys, and their...” It's a sweet way of expressing their hearts inner aspirations. So, it's from their point of view; that's what they see.
    The earth is shivering in conjugal ecstasy, at the touch of the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa.
    And they hear the sound of Kṛṣṇa's flute. The nectar of Kṛṣṇa's lips enters the flute, and the, there's the stream of that nectar in the environment from the sweet sound, relished by everyone, ...sudhayāpūrayan gopa-vṛndairn vṛndāraṇyaṁ sva-pada-ramaṇaṁ prāviśad gīta-kīrtiḥ (SB: 10.21.5). And, Guru Mahārāj points out... So, we see the joy of Kṛṣṇa, Balarāma and the cowherd boys, joy of vraja-gopīs observing the scene, their lotus feet are dancing and moving on the ground ...” vṛndāraṇyaṁ sva-pada-ramaṇaṁ prāviśad gīta-kīrtiḥ (SB: 10.21.5); means, they're singing and dancing, and entering... But, ...sva-pada-ramaṇaṁ... The earth at the touch of the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa, Mahārāj said, “It's shivering in conjugal ecstasy.” What is not possible in that world? The earth is shivering in conjugal ecstasy, at the touch of the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa.
    The genuine devotees, they're suppressing, concealing their exalted position.
    So, Mukunda, just seeing the peacock feather, while trying to give the medical advise... Like the real, genuine Vaiṣṇavas, he enters that world. And he's unable to maintain consciousness, sustain consciousness in this world, causing him to become fainted. He's laying on the ground. The attendants, they're fanning him, and gradually bringing him back to consciousness. And, they're saying, you know, “Where's it hurt? He's saying, “It doesn't hurt anywhere.” But he's catching himself, like, “Oh, I have condition, like epilepsy, and I have seizures from time to time. Forgive me.” And, they say, “Oh, yeah, as long as you're OK...” “I'm fine.” The genuine devotees, they're suppressing, concealing their exalted position. They lament any display, right. So, that's in the case of Mukunda, and that's mentioned there. But in the Caitanya-bhāgavat find Haridāsa Ṭhākur similar way. He is along the road, and... We've seen this... Those who've been to India, you know, there'll be like rattan, wicker basket, with some Cobras in it.
    Story of the Cobras, ananta-śeṣa and worship of Haridāsa Ṭhākur.
    And then, there's the guys with the flute or oboe, or somewhere between the flute and oboe... And, they're moving like that... [swaying] And then, the Cobra's come up, and they're going like that, and... [swaying] In the modern world, they make you give money to them, to put them away...[laughing] Because, that's what they do. They like bring them to the place, they all come out, and then the people go, “Wow!” you know, like “OK... Oh, no... Not OK...” Until you give them rupees, they don't go back in the basket. And, then you realize, “Oh, I have to pay money to stop this.” [laughing] That's what happen to Haridāsa Ṭhākur. There's a man doing that on the side of the road, and then, when he sees the Cobra, he sees ananta-śeṣa, the thousand-hooded ananta-śeṣa, singing the glories of Kṛṣṇa. And he enters the ecstatic trans. Remember, he's walking on the side of the road—he sees ananta-śeṣa—he's taken to that plane and become fainted to this world. He've entered that world. And when he comes out of that trans, the people are taking the dust from his feet, and he's trying to escape, right.
    Story of the envious brāhmaṇ; do not imitate the activities of the great soul.
    Another words, they caught him in the moment of this play, and he goes on. But, we're told in that story, that one brāhmaṇ nearby, he's watching, he observed this and he thought... Sees how the people are taking the dust, and worshiping Haridāsa Ṭhākur, showing so much awe, reverence, respect, and he become envious of that. And he think, “I can do that! Maybe even better.” And then, he puts on the show. And then, the people beat him. [laughing] And then, he's seating there, bruised and beaten, saying, “I don't understand. When he did it, you're all taking feet-dust and worship, asking for blessings, and then, I'm doing and you're beating me. And, they're saying, “Yes, because you're imitating the activities of the great soul. He's a genuine great devotee, and you're imitating that.” That's unhealthy for neophyte. That's why Saraswatī Ṭhākur is suppressing these divine emotions. The same Saraswatī Ṭhākur, Guru Mahārāj said, who is so vigilant in suppressing ecstatic symptoms, when, behind closed doors with his intimate circle, he would recall the śloka of Śrīla Raghunāth Dāsa Goswāmī from the Vilāpa-kusumañjali,
    And, what is the heart of that heart? The prema... “I don't have a scent of the fragrance of kṛṣṇa-prema, what to speak of the drop of that divine substance.” Krandāmi... “Oh, but we see that You crying...” And, Mahāprabhu, you know... “Gaṅgā-like streams of tears are coming from Your eyes...” And He said, “Oh, you don't know... That is to cheat the people, to deceive the people into thinking that I have kṛṣṇa-prema.” That's from the lips of Mahāprabhu Himself. What's the second verse of the Śikṣāṣṭakam? Nāmnām akāri bahudhā nija-sarva-śaktis... (Cc: Antya, 20.16). Praising that Holy Name. That in the first śloka, it's so beautiful, ...vidyā-vadhū-jīvanam ānandāmbudhi-vardhanaṁ prati-padaṁ pūrṇāmṛtāsvādanaṁ sarvātma-snapanaṁ paraṁ vijayate śrī-kṛṣṇa-saṅkīrtanam (Cc: Antya, 20, 12-2) [beginning] ceto-darpaṇa-mārjanaṁ bhava-mahā-dāvāgni-nirvāpaṇaṁ śreyaḥ-kairava-candrikā-vitaraṇaṁ...(Cc: Antya, 20, 12-1).
    Glories and sweetness of the Holy Name of Kṛṣṇa.
    āśā-bharair amṛta-sindhu-mayaiḥ kathañchit
    kālo mayāti-gamitaḥ kila sāmprataṁ hi
    tvañ chet kṛpāṁ mayi vidhāsyasi naiva kiṁ me
    prāṇair vrajena cha varoru bakāriṇāpi
    (Śrī Vilāpa Kusumāñjali: 102)
    Sorrowful lamentation by Raghunāth Dāsa Goswāmī in separation from Devotees.
    After the departure of Mahāprabhu and Svarūpa Dāmodar in Purī... Remember, Raghunāth Dāsa Goswāmī was put under the care of Svarūpa Dāmodar by Mahāprabhu, personally. And now that the two of them have left the world, Raghunāth Dāsa's raison d’être 'reason for being' is no longer. He's saying, “Why am I in this world?The purpose of my life, what's give my life meaning and purpose, is this service aspiration that I've been nurturing in my heart, to one day achieve the service of the holy lotus feet of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, and... So, without them, that's not a possibility any longer. So, why should I continue to live?” He's thinking to go to Govardhan,
    Rādhā-kuṇḍa, have one darśan, then throw himself from the Govardhan. He's saying, ”Because my life... I've lost the meaning of my life, the purpose of my life. And, what's more valuable then my life? Vṛndāvan, without You..?” Meaning, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī. “What is Vṛndāvan? What will be my interest?”
    Rādhā-padmāńkita dhāma, bṛndābana jār nāma... (Śrī Rādhāṣṭaka: Rādhikā-caraṇa-padma 1). Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākur says, “The Vṛndāvan proper, is that soil.” Remember, we're told, cinmaya, that is enriched with the holy lotus feet of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, which means, the... Enriched with highest quality of dedicating tendency, and self-giving” right, ...dāsyāya te mama raso ’stu raso ’stu satyam ...sakhyāya te mama namo ’stu namo ’stu nityaṁ, (Vk: 16) [in reversed order] Elsewhere in the same work, he's saying that, “My aspiration is service; that is my target. And, intimacy, that is not my concern. That is something higher and worshipable to me. Like Sarasvatī Ṭhākur's model, pūjāla rāgapaṭha gaurava baṅge mattala sādhu jana viṣaya raṅge (Bhakti Siddhānta Saraswatī Ṭhākur: Gaudiya 1930); rāgapaṭha, rāga-mārga; that's high above. The higher plane. One step remove, we're trying to serve that plane from here.
    Among Highest Devotees, expression of divine emotions are kept confidential.
    So, Dāsa Goswāmī thinks, “So, my life is no longer valuable—what's more valuable then my life—Vṛndāvan... Is of no use to me without You.” And, ...prāṇair
    vrajena cha varoru bakāriṇāpi (Vk: 102), “And without You, Kṛṣṇa...” Guru Mahārāj said, “That is a shameless thing to say, you know—bakāri means—the killer of Bakāsura, the demon-killer. Not that charming, sweet Kṛṣṇa, who achieved His maximum sweetness, expression of His sweetness, beauty, charm, love and affection at Your side.” So, this verse is about service aspiration, right. This is the verse, that the same Saraswatī Ṭhākur, who's meticulously suppressing any expression of divine emotion, Guru Mahārāj said, “Would cry uncontrollably, and giving vent to what is expressed in this verse.” So, that is so high, and so wonderful. And those are the divine agents, whom we aspire to serve; their servant's servants.
    So, on our side, we don't... We're extra cautious about these things. So, I know that it's not... It's unintended... And the happy... The part that gives me encouragement, is that she knows them, so, she's leaving the situation, understanding all these things, not to disrupt and give the wrong impression. So, we're extra cautious about that. Any other question?
    Devotee: No...[inaudible]
    Goswāmī Mahārāj: OK. I remember, in Italy, at Villa Govinda, on the Disappearance Day of Śrīlā Guru Mahārāj. Śrīlā Gurudev begin speaking, but he become so overwhelmed that he could not suppress his tears, and he took his uttarīya and just draped it over his head, to not show these things, until he could resume his calm some. And we've seen the same sort of standards in Śrīlā Guru Mahārāj. There are many instances I observed whit Śrīlā Guru Mahārāj's experiencing divine emotions, and he's very carefully suppressing them. Mahāprabhu, we're told, in these words, echoing the sentiments of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī Herself, in the Madhya-līlā, Chapter Two. Which is, where Kavirāj Goswāmī's fearing that he may not live to fully express the confidential,
    internal reasons for the nature of Mahāprabhu's appearance and pastimes. And, in condense form he's giving there, what's substantial, in this verse, even within that section, is given a special emphases.
    He says, “Maharaj, ...kṛṣṇa-prema, jāmbūnada-hema... (Cc: Madhya 2.43); kṛṣṇa-prema, it's like the jāmbūnada-hema; we're told, “The legendary rivers of gold in haven.” Right. Saying, there are these rivers... There's description in the Fifth Canto of the Bhāgavatam, where it says, on one planet, where there are elephant size mangos that are just full of juice. And when they drop from the trees, they burst, and then they form rivers of mango juice. And the rivers of mango juice turn the banks into gold. We think, “Kṛṣṇa-prema is like these legendary rivers of gold in heaven; it's not the thing of this world.” That doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but not here. Don't try to bring that down here; it exists in another plane. So, that verse is given there, fallowed by, na prema-gandho ’sti darāpi me harau, krandāmi saubhāgya-bharaṁ prakāśitum... (Cc: Madhya, 2.45). Mahāprabhu Himself, who's come for this very purpose, to explore the heart of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī.
    Mahāprabhu, “I don't have a scent of the fragrance of kṛṣṇa-prema...”
    How glorious and beautiful the Holy Name of Kṛṣṇa is, and it's effect upon the heart of the aspiring servitor; saying, “And You have so many names, and in all of them You've fully invested all Your potency, ...tatrārpitā niyamitaḥ... (Cc: Antya, 20,16). And there's no hard and fast rules...” As Prabhupāda would say, “Or, you can take this Name anywhere, anytime in anyway...” When some devotees would ask, “Oh, should we chant like silently..? I mean... Aloud..? Mānasic..? In which way? Which way is the best?” And Mahārāj said, “The one which is done with love and devotion, and feeling.” Not the one, you know: loud, half-quite, aspirated, murmured. It's not one is better then the other. Which one has quality? But... So, He's saying, “That's not an issue; You have so many Names, they can be chanted in so many ways, at any time of day, or night.” But, what? ...etādṛśī tava kṛpā... (Cc: Antya, 20,16); “You're so merciful...” ...kali-kāle nāma-rūpe kṛṣṇa-avatāra... (Cc: Ādi, 17.22).
    Mahāprabhu, “My great misfortune is, I have no attraction for Kṛṣṇa's Name.”
    “In Kali-yuga You've descended in the form of Your Name ...etādṛśī tava kṛpā bhagavan mamāpi durdaivam īdṛśam ihājani nānurāgaḥ (Cc: Antya, 20,16).
    ”My bad luck, my misfortune... What's wrong with me? I have no attraction for this; no taste for Your Holy Name. Something must be wrong with me. You're so merciful. You've descended this way.” The Infinite appearing as if though finite; it's so easy. “You've send Your devotee to give this to me, and I'm so unfortunate, as I have no attraction for that.” That comes from Mahāprabhu, who's doing what? Echoing sentiments expressed from the heart of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī. “I don't have scent of the fragrance of kṛṣṇa-prema, what to speak of the drop of that divine substance.” Then how should we proceed? ...yad-vāñchayā śrīr lalanācarat tapo, vihāya kāmān su-ciraṁ dhṛta-vratā (Cc: Madhya, 9.114). Lakṣmī Devī did austerities in the tapovana, in the forest for lifetimes, to trying get entrance into that plane.
    And we will get it so easily? I was reading the other day about diamonds. And, it said like how long it takes to make a diamond. As I recall, and, you know, I'm just approximating here. On average, it was about 3.5 billion years, right. So, if you want diamond, you're dealing with something that take 3.5 billion years to achieve, right. Should Kṛṣṇa-consciousness... Is Kṛṣṇa-consciousness more valuable then a diamond? Equal? Greater? How long does it take to achieve Kṛṣṇa-consciousness? What if it was 3.5 billion years. Anyone want to sign-up for that? [laughing] Guru Mahārāj. He... For Guru Mahārāj that would... He would... Guru Mahārāj, you know what he would say to that? “That's to little!” That's his way, “That's not long enough. That's to easily achieved.” That shows you the depth of his Kṛṣṇa-conception, that he would think 3.5 billion years, “Oh, maybe 3.5 billion lifetimes, or more!” And, it says, ...koṭiṣv api mahā-mune (SB: 6.14.5)muktānām api siddhānāṁ nārāyaṇa-parāyaṇaḥ... Something...
    su-durlabhaḥ praśāntātmā koṭiṣv api mahā-mune (SB: 6.14.5).
    How to get hunger-laulyam? Guru Mahārāj, “Associate with the hungry.”
    That, you know, manuṣyāṇāṁ sahasreṣu kaścid yatati siddhaye... (Bg: 7.3). “Out of many thousands among man, one is interested in serving Me. “ Out of many thousands of such person's, one may achieve siddha. Out of many thousands of siddha's, one become muktā, etc. Out of ten million muktā's, ...koṭi-mukta-madhye ‘durlabha’ eka kṛṣṇa-bhakta (Cc: Madhya 19.148). “One kṛṣṇa-bhakta.” Guru Mahārāj said, “That's to much!” Like, “That's to many.” One, out of ten million. [laughing] And he said that not to discourage us, but rather, how valuable substance we've come in connection with, that 3.5 billion... Here, diamond is before us. What's better then that is before us; being served to us on the golden plate, being gifted, ...durdaivam īdṛśam ihājani nānurāgaḥ (Cc: Antya, 20,16). “And, My misfortune is to not appreciate that.” So, then the only remaining question should be, as Śyāmānanda Prabhu said to Guru Mahārāj, about hunger-laulyam, “But how to get that hunger?” We should say, “How to get that appreciation?”
    How to get the hunger? Guru Mahārāj said, “Associate with the hungry. That will awaken hunger in you.” Those who have genuine appreciation for Kṛṣṇa, we associate with them, it'll awaken genuine appreciation in our hearts, ...tatra laulyam api mūlyam ekalaṁ janma-koṭi-sukṛtair na labhyate (Cc:Madhya, 8.70). This is the only way to come in connection with this divine substance is through the agents, and the servants of the servants, of the servants of the agents of that divine plane. Hare Kṛṣṇa